Many people do not understand sexual abuse.  (Download our Myths and facts document)

1 out 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before they reach their eighteenth birthday. . .

When we hear these statistics, we are horrified! And we immediately calm our fears by convincing ourselves that sexual abuse couldn't happen to our child. After all, we are loving, caring parents with a constant eye out for our child's welfare. But it can happen.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone. Sexual abuse is relentlessly democratic -- it doesn't matter where you live, what religion you are or what race you happen to be. Sexual abuse affects us all. It not only affects the child it happens to, but it wreaks havoc on society as well. Children feel sad, depressed, guilty, confused and angry. There are many signs and symptoms children might exhibit as a result of their victimization. As a society, we feel the effects as we struggle to deal with drug and alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancy and juvenile delinquency--to name a few. Sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions in our country and it is the root of many of our social problems! But there is something we can do.

We must educate children and provide them with the tools they need to keep themselves safe! We teach our children a myriad of safety rules when they are young, but talking with them about sexual abuse can elude us. It is a difficult topic. We teach them about stranger danger, but that is only the beginning. With sexual abuse, in only 10% of cases are offenders a stranger to the child. Children need to know what sexual abuse is and what they can do to interrupt it or prevent it from happening. When abuse happens, children are alone with the offender. Offenders can be adults, teenagers or even another child.

Offenders are usually someone a child knows, likes, loves or lives with. In approximately 90% of cases, the offender is someone known to the child. Because an offender is someone the child knows and trusts, children decide it must be "okay" and they keep the abuse a secret. Sexual abuse is very confusing to a child because of the tricks and threats used by the offender and because the offender is usually someone the child knows and trusts. A child may be told that the abuse is their fault, or that they will get in trouble, or that they will be responsible for breaking up a family, or that someone will get hurt. Children are told that "it's just a game" or "it's because you're special." Offenders are masters at their craft; they can fool the best of us. They may spend inordinate amounts of time "grooming" their victims and families in order to earn their confidence and trust. Be wary of the person who is eager to spend too much time with your child and who is always bearing gifts (bribes). Something might be questionable when someone wants to spend more time with your child than you do!

Spending time with our children and keeping the lines of communication open are excellent ways to encourage our children to share with us what is happening in their lives. If our child expresses fear of a person or a place, we need to pay attention and ask them why? Sometimes we might be tempted to dismiss what seems to be irrational fear, but we need to check it out to see what our child might be trying to tell us. We need to give our children permission to heed these internal warnings so that if they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation, they have learned that they can trust their instincts and can take steps to keep themselves safe.

And sometimes children do tell. Knowing how to respond to a child who discloses abuse to us is of the utmost importance. When a child tells us that they have been sexually abused, they come to us because they trust us. They need our help. Research has taught us that the single most important factor in a child's doing well after being abused is the emotional support a child receives from his/her parents.

Families in crisis can find help through local police departments or child protective services agencies. Help is also available by calling the Childhelp® National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

This page is an appeal to all adults to take a proactive role in protecting their children from the devastation of sexual abuse. If elementary schools in your area are not teaching Good-Touch/Bad-Touch®, you can talk with principals, school counselors and district superintendents about this essential program. Call us at 1-800-245-1527 to make arrangements to bring Good-Touch/Bad-Touch to your school or community. In the meantime, teach your child the five body safety rules and talk with him/her about the problem of sexual abuse. For your convenience we have put together a safety package of prevention materials to assist you in your efforts to teach your children about sexual abuse. These materials provide you with essential information. This book encourages every adult who loves a child to participate in their safety education. Education is prevention!

Together, we can keep our children safe!